The Custody Documentation Checklist

Under NC G.S. Section 50-13.2 and Fla. Stat. Section 61.13, the judge applies one standard: the best interest of the child. In North Carolina, that means stability of each parent's home, physical and mental health, primary caretaker history, the child's preference (especially at 12+), each parent's ability to foster a relationship with the other, history of domestic violence or substance abuse, and continuity in school, community, and religion. Florida runs roughly 20 statutory factors under 61.13(3) — moral fitness, mental and physical health, the child's home/school/community record, capacity for a stable routine, demonstrated involvement in school and extracurriculars, and willingness to honor a time-sharing schedule. After Florida HB 1301 (July 2023), there is a rebuttable presumption of 50/50 time-sharing — you overcome it only with specific, documented reasons. Gender is not a factor in either state. Daily work is. Whoever proves the daily work wins that factor.

Save everything. Every text between you and the other parent — screenshot with the date visible. Every email — never delete, archive into a folder labeled by month (2026-05-communications). Every voicemail — record it on a second device or transcribe it the same day. Every important phone call — write a one-line summary with date and time before you go to bed. Every missed exchange or no-show — log it. I recommend OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. Some NC and FL judges order them by name because the timestamps are court-admissible and tone gets recorded. Here is the rule that wins cases: write every message as if the judge will read it tomorrow morning. Calm. Brief. About the kids. Never insult, never accuse, never yell. A text from the other parent calling your child an idiot is gold in court. A reasonable email from you they ignored for three days is gold. A screaming voicemail at 11pm is gold. Build the gold pile.

Pull these before your first attorney meeting. Twelve months of paystubs — yours and, if you have access, the other parent's. Three years of tax returns (W-2s, 1099s, Schedule C if self-employed). Six months of bank and credit card statements. Every receipt for the kids — school registration, uniforms, sports, music lessons, therapy, daycare, doctor copays, prescriptions, birthday parties. Drop them in a folder labeled by category. Build one Excel sheet with date, category, who paid, and amount. Why this matters: if you have been paying 70 percent of the kids' expenses but you cannot prove it, the judge assumes 50/50 and rules accordingly. Child support is calculated under the Income Shares Model in both states (NC G.S. Section 50-13.4; Fla. Stat. Section 61.30) — combined gross income plus overnights determines the number. If you tell the judge the other parent earns $5,000 a month but you cannot prove it, it does not count. Documentation is the case.

Strong witnesses are people who see your kids regularly and have no axe to grind. Teachers and school principals are the most powerful witnesses you can put on the stand — they spend more waking hours with your child than any adult outside the parents, and judges weigh their observations heavily. Pediatricians, dentists, children's therapists, coaches, instructors, religious leaders, neighbors who see the day-to-day, babysitters, after-school staff — all strong. Family is weaker; judges expect your mother to defend you. Witnesses who hurt you: your new partner (instant bias), close friends with no direct kid contact, anyone with a criminal record or pending conflict, and family who badmouth the other parent. What to ask each witness for: a signed letter describing what they have personally seen (not what they think or feel), willingness to testify in person if needed, and current contact information.

Do not text the other parent emotionally — every word is discoverable. Do not post on social media about the case, the other parent, your dating life, or your weekend. Assume opposing counsel is screenshotting your Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat right now. Posts are admissible under NC and FL rules of discovery, and deleting after a case is filed is destruction of evidence. Do not badmouth the other parent to or near the kids — Guardians ad Litem interview children, and parental alienation flips a judge against you fast. Do not block visitation without a court order, even if you are right; you can be held in contempt. Do not record conversations in Florida without the other person's consent (Fla. Stat. Section 934 — two-party consent). In NC you can record a call you are on (NC G.S. Section 15A-287 — one-party consent), but never record the kids saying bad things about the other parent. Do not move the kids out of county or state without a court order. Do not start a public new relationship during the case. Do not use the child as a messenger. Do not lie under oath. Do not wait to call an attorney.